Doctor's orders
by LilAmy-chan
Summary: Midvalley and Legato plan on helping Knives bitter attitude. Which, of course, will wind up driving him over the edge. How much can a "retired" murderer take from two lunatics? Poor Knives, just five more seconds until he snaps. Unfinished. OOCness RR!


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Trigun, if you ever believe I do-well that's just great for you!

**A/n: **This was my attempt at making my friend's dream come true. As we made our piles of OC fanfics she tells me her dream was for me to create a story where Knives and Legato and Midvalley have a sleep over! She claming it would be "Totally cool! Awww!!!" Yea well…I did it, Legato and Midvalley turned to be OOC but I guess that would be the only way for this to happen. Knives I think is in character, let's hope. And plus, we need more Knives torturing fics out there don't you think? Please R/R, I love reading peoples opinions.

**The Knives, Legato and Midvalley skit**

"Come on master."

"This is stupid."

"But Master-"

"Where do you get these ideas from Legato?! Vash?"

"We need to bond, that's what Mr. Frank says-"

"Oh for heavens sake…you're in this too Midvalley?!"

"I sense a lot of anger in you, you can tell us-"

"WELL YOU MORONS ARE THE INSEGNIFICANT ONES PARADING IN YOUR UNDERGARMENTS!"

"Oh we got one for you too Master!"

"It has fuzzy bears on it-"

"I'll give you fuzzy bear-"

"No Master, no threats! Mr. Frank-"

"Mr. Frank is a repulsive, atrocious human which should be burned at the stake. Who sent you two brainless duos to him anyway? You should be administering my commands! Not speaking to some shrink-"

"That's it Master Knives, let it all flow out-"

"Midvalley." Knives squints his eyes at the man, preparing to obliterate the foolish individual to hell. "Why are you taking charge in such stupidity? I knew Legato had lost it, but not you. You are still my left hand man, why don't you ACT LIKE IT?!"

"But Mr. Frank-"

"If you say that one more time-"

"Well OUR DOCTOR said that we have communication issues." Midvalley closed his eyes, irritated by his boss's incompetence. "You see, what we are arguing about now. This is our issue, and Legato and I want to solve it."

"Yes Master." Legato placed the teddy bear PJ's onto Knives lap as he continued. "We decided the only way we're going to decipher this is by a sleepover-"

Knives sighed, completely infuriated by these two spiders. Massaging his temples he glowered at the two of them. Seeing as they both smiled sweetly at him, as if this was all a charade, as if they were ALLOWED to essentially disgrace him in such a way. They had the nerve. Struggling to keep his fingers away from the gun at his pocket he spoke, "And a sleepover would solve this? If I abide with you both will this routine finally be put to rest?"

"Yes!" They both nodded happily. Knives snatched the pile of clothes as he threw his shirt off. Pulling the fleece sleeveless shirt on he grunted at the staring eyes.

"Well?! Have you two ever heard of privacy?!"

"There was a bathroom over there-"

"Well I don't feel like walking, is that a problem?" He scowled at Legato, more than ready to destroy him. Ever since Vash had "defeated" him he made a "promise" (which he obviously broke a few hours later) of keeping the death tow at a mere zero. This promise was foolish in its own, but he did care about Vash. But Vash wasn't here right now and he didn't care right now.

"Uh-no." He turned his back to them as he resumed into his humming state, pulling his demin pants to his ankles he heard a recognizable whistle. Jerking his head to the side he saw Midvalley comment,

"I didn't know you waxed."

"That is none of your business." He snarled as he heaved the cotton pants to his waist, unfortunately the material was too long as it covered his whole foot. "There, done. Can I leave now?"

"No." Legato pointed to the three sleeping bags in front of the television. "We sleep here today."

Knives' right eye began to twitch as he stared at the rags on the carpet. Was he surely going to take his slumber on the ground? ON THE GROUND? These two were pushing it, they were already crossed the line, now they were just plain spitting on it. He was used to dozing in a king size bed, nothing like those sheets in front of them. Knives stomped onto the middle one. "This is mine. Period. If you two even consider otherwise I'll gun you down at this instant."

"Oh that's okay. We want you to be happy anyway." Legato replied, turning on the television as he and his friend sat themselves down in front of the device. As soon as the monitor was flashed Knives jumped back. He's never seen such technology before, the moving images-they resembled humans! Many bright lights and colors blazed in front of his very eyes as he nervously seated himself in-between the two.

"What is this?"

"It's called a T.V."

"What is it's purpose?" Knives' mouth opened in amazement.

"To entertain I guess. I don't really know-Oh here comes my favorite show!" Midvalley shouted in excitement. Knives continued to be fascinated over the DNA files cover the television was speaking of. Or the 'magic box' as Knives put it. The voice over was speaking of murder as Knives inched his way closer to the television. Suddenly white letters in a black screen flew up and about the screen. Quickly were these letter flying upwards, he couldn't even make out a word. Then a small bear with a shape of a heart on its abdomen appeared, smiling ever so sweetly at its viewers. Knives jumped back, horrified by the cuddly creature. He pulled his body back to the covers of the sleeping bag as he turned to Midvalley.

"What is that horrendous-"

"Who's that coming from somewhere else in the sky?!" Midvalley sang allowed, tilting his head from side to side, "Moving fast and bright like a firefly!" Knives stared in utter confusion. "Just when you think troubles gonna pounce!" What was this magic box doing to his minion? It was mind control! "Who's gonna be there when it really counts…" Knives watched as both Legato and Midvalley were in a trance of laughter and happiness as they both finished their chant. "It's the Care bear Countdown-"

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO-"

"Five…Four…Three-"

"WILL YOU TWO-"

"Two…One!"

"AHHH!!!"

"You want to participate too Master?"

"No!" Knives stood up and pointed to the magic box. "You two are being brainwashed by this machine. I must slay it!" He jumped to his pile of clothes and pulled his gun as he gladly pulled the trigger several times. Watching as his aimed target fizzled and smoked in defeat he snickered to himself.

"M-Master!" Legato trembled as his show was killed, literally murdered by his leader. "But the Care Bears!"

"You two need a lesson on how to maintain SANITY!" Knives shouted.

"But Mr. Frank-" Knives shot a bullet at Midvalley, the bullet dashing centimeters from his ear. Midvalley cringed as he tried to calm his master down.

"YOU SAID IT-"

"We need to talk this out-"

"I told you not to say it!"

"Communication-"

"I am sick of this blubberish bullshit!" Knives hollered as he backed away from the two.

"Knives, drop the gun."

"Don't you tell me what to do, you worm!"

Midvalley sighed as he tugged at his cotton ball dangling from pants. "I guess we are heading for phase too." He pulled out Sylvia as he narrowed his eyes.

"Yes. I understand." Legato closed his eyes as Knives abruptly was paralyzed.

"What the-LEGATO YOU ARE NOT ABOUT TO USE YOUR TRICK ON ME!" A bloody curdle escaped his mouth. His stare drew daggers as Legato calmly forced his master to wrap his arms around his body, hug himself so to speak.

"Midvalley get the chair!" Legato commanded as Midvalley walked out of the room and soon returned with a plain wooden chair. As Knives' limbs began to act upon their own he edged his way towards the chair as he was thrown onto it by Midvalley. The two took a rope and tied him onto it until the rope was no more. As soon as the two were done they moved back.

"Master this is the only way you're going to learn."

"Yes Legato, even though we have to reduce you into a child."

"Oh yea-I'm the child!" He snapped sarcastically. Attempting to pull himself free from the rope's grips, but to no avail. "Oh yes. I'm sure going to COMMUNICATE WITH YOU TWO NOW!"

"I'm glad you see it our way!" Midvalley smiled again.

"Do you not comprehend sarcasm?"

"So what do we do now?" He turned to Legato.

"Oh yes I know! I KNOW!" He ran out of the room. Knives could only stare at Midvalley, attempting to bend him backwards with his telekinesis but for some odd reason, it wasn't working; and Midvalley was only gawking at him affectionately.

"You make me sick." Knives hissed at him, Midvalley snickering.

TBC Uh…I sort of lost interest in this, it was four in the morning! What can I say? I'll continue if I have any new ideas to this. LilAmy-chan


End file.
